This weekend I had a party – it was a class A pity party, just for me! There was chocolate involved (of course! I would never dream of having a party without chocolate.) There was some texting to a friend, a lot of “I can’t do this… o.k., I can do this, but I don’t want to do this!” She texted back things that made me laugh. Everyone needs a friend or two like that. There was a sappy Nicholas Sparks movie involved, and even a few tears. It was awesome.
I miss my husband. People say, “But you are doing great.” But the reality of it is, not all the time. Some days, I throw pity parties for myself.
This one started when Josh asked me how many days until Christmas. We were bored and sitting at a restaurant, waiting for our food, so I pulled out my calculator and started adding up the days. (It was 73, in case you are curious, of course that was a day or two ago.) So, then I got the bright idea to add up how many days since Bill had left, how many days until his R&R, how many days until he comes home for good. I can’t say I loved seeing those numbers… especially when each day can already seem really long without him. So, I came home and threw my pity party. Waa! Waa! Waa!
There is a verse in Leviticus that I just love. It says, “Because of His great love we are not consumed. His mercies are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness.” This morning was a new morning.
Two things helped change my perspective. First, I got to church. And my pastor was rocking it! He preached all about Matthew 6, the passage about not worrying. I am not a worrier by nature, but I have been slipping into this destructive pattern lately. Worrying about all the things around the house, worrying about the kids, worrying about when I will see my husband again. But, not focusing on the things God has told me to do. Like trust in Him. And take life day by day. And stop worrying about what I will eat or wear, because my Heavenly Father knows I need those things and he cares for me so much more than the birds and the lilies of the field.
The second thing is just awesome! Bill sent me an email that went something like this, “Just found out some soldiers are helping support a local orphanage. Got the message too late to ask you to send anything, so I ran to the PX and bought a few washcloths and small socks. I’ll let you know when the next donation time will be so you can send things.” Oh my! This was exactly what I needed… I can so get on board with supporting a local orphanage. I love that my husband is doing this, that he is going to know how to ask all the right questions, that he is perhaps there for exactly this purpose. Sure, he’s an amazing soldier who is doing a fantastic job, but this is so much where his heart lies, and mine too!
So, this is a heads up – pretty soon, once we get a few more details, I’m going to be asking for stuff. Like maybe shoes, or coats, or candy, or toys. Or whatever they might need. So be ready. Because now, I’m a soldiers wife with a purpose.
And by the way, I threw that pity party to the curb. Can’t promise I won’t have another one from time to time, but right now I am way too busy. I’ve got some orphans to pray for and help.